The Why Me Factor

 

Why me? Why us? Two thoughts that I can’t help but think from time to time. Why were we put in this path that leads to so much heartbreak. Years of doctors appointments, years of blood draws, YEARS of not being pregnant. 

When I had my IUD removed in August of 2015 the doctor told me that I was “fertile Myrtle” and I should be pregnant in no time. 

Fast forward three years and here we are. Still not pregnant. Still heartbroken. Still waiting.  

Everyday I know just how blessed we are to have our six year old James. I know there are so many couples struggling just like we are to become pregnant with their first. I can’t even begin to imagine how much that must hurt even more.  

Not to discount secondary infertility AT ALL, I just can’t wrap my head around how the other must feel.  

I digress, back to my point. The “Why me?” Factor. Although this is a state of mind I tend to struggle with daily. Just like many others on this journey I tend to struggle silently. As not to put my emotions out into the world. Infertility is as common as 1 in 4 women, yet it’s never openly discussed.  

Why me is a state of mind, one that can be hard to get away from sometimes. And some days you need to sit and cry and scream “WHY ME?”   

But, most days, you don’t. You can do this, just like every other 1 in 4. You are strong. You are powerful. And you are not alone. It will get easier. It will be worth it in the end.

With love,

Patricia